God, We Work Well Together

It's the kind of thing that only happens when you're already running late. I dash out the door to the garage, only to come up short because Sam's car was still in its space, Sam sitting behind the wheel. Just as I'm trying to figure out why he is still home when I had thought he had left ten minutes before, I notice the neighbor dog in the driveway.

"Oh crap!" I yell, and jump back into the house, slamming the door shut. It's not that I don't like the dog. He's kinda cool, always friendly. Frankly, he can't hold himself together. He gets too excited and jumps all over me and himself, falling and whimpering because he's so excited. This means his doggy smell ends up on my pants and hands and blouse and hair, so I go around smelling like mutt for the rest of the day. Not what I intend for work.

So I crack the door back open, and start yelling at Sam. I'm not entirely sure whether he can hear me (yes I am), but I figure my loud voice and frantic waving will highlight the gravity of the situation.

"Get the damn dog!" I scream, pointing behind his car. Sam starts the car. Big Puppy tilts his head, curious. "No! That didn't work! He's still there! Get the damn dog!" Sam taps the horn once. Big Puppy wags his tail. "No! Still there! Geez, I need to go to work! I'm late. Get. the. damn. DOG! And why are you still here?" I take a step out the door, and Big Puppy takes notice. Crap. I duck back in.

"I need to go to work, too!" comes Sam's response.

"Yeah!" I say. "Great reason to get the damn dog!"

"He accosted me at the mailbox. I've been petting him for ten minutes." It's a little muffled by the glass, but I know this is what he has just confessed.

"So this is your fault? Screw you! Get the dog! I'm late!"

He finally gets out of his car and goes to the dog. When I see Big Puppy move away from Sam's open garage door, I swing the door open wide, and make a run for my own car, not daring to open my spot's garage door until I've made it safely inside. I get my car door open, and Sam says "He's behind your car now." He's way too calm for his own good.

"Well, get him the hell out of the way! C'mon!" I get the garage door open and my car started. Sam gives me the okay absolutely no signal, and I start backing out, praying to not run over this dog. Sam has still given me no indication as to where this dog is, and I hope my first is not a thump-thump. So slow slow slow I go. I finally get the car pointed in the right direction, and there is Big Puppy, standing thirty feet away.

I'll kill Sam when I get home. I'm running late, right now.