Friday, October 22, 2010

Dear Political Candidates,

I am going to give you a hint- not even a hint. No interpretation needed. Please pay attention to the following:

I am going to vote for whichever of you bitches does not send me any junk mail. Also, you have to make sure that your stupid supporters go back and pick up all those roadside signs they so carefully lined my commute with. Stop killing my planet. Planet killers.

The intelligent among you (bahahaha! Ohmygod, I am funny.) will point out a conundrum. What if more than one of us doesn't send you junk mail? Then we shall have a tie breaker! Whoever has fewer "my opponent is an asshole because" ads on television earns my vote! Now, I know it's hard to run a campaign based on your own strengths rather than your opponent's perceived weaknesses (aka the crap you either made up, exaggerated, or dug out of a dumpster), but I know you can't do it.

I Hate You So Much,


Melinda said...

I've got that right! Political ads are so horrible. So many of them leave me mad because you can tell they think that voters are stupid and will listen to what they say and not get educated on the issues they are behind.

Call Me Cate said...

I'm pretty sure that I'm dumb enough to vote for whoever has the most ads. Because that candidate must care the most, right?

Umm, notsomuch.