Friday, February 18, 2011

To Claim the Meditation Was Unsuccessful Would be an Understatement

Dammit, is the sound still on on the television? No, ignore it. Need to learn to ignore sounds if I want to be able to meditate at work... Where would I? The break room? People will think I'm insane. The bathroom! No, no lids. Go to the car- it won't be freezing much longer... It might get too warm, not idling the car, I kill the environment too much anyway. Roll down the windows, open the sun roof. Freakin' traffic. Stop! No thinking... The refrigerator just kicked on. I guess I'm never around actual complete silence. Block that out... What time did I start? Stop thinking! Breathe, breathe, breathe. Now you're thinking about breathing! Now you're picturing the word BREATHE. Focus. The center of the A. Focus. Focused on that flower when I was in labor with Connor. Could I draw that flower now? Oh my god, stop thinking. I could blog how bad at this I am. Clear your head!... Am I really thinking about blogging about thinking about blogging?... God, how long has it been?

2 comments:

Call Me Cate said...

I'd love to record my thoughts when I meditate. 50% things I shouldn't be thinking about and 50% telling myself to stop thinking about those things! Still, it's nice to at least TRY to sit still quietly for a few minutes.

AinsleyB said...

Only because I am in the middle of an 8 week meditation "challenge" will I speak to this--and I do mean challenge...the trick is to give yourself permission to sit, watch your breath, and let the brain do what it wants to do. Oh it will it. Just watch it. When you see it plan, have imaginary conversations, talk to you, say "thinking" and go back to feeling yourself breathe. You'll probably do this 100 times. I think the key is realizing this is normal. The brain cannot stand not having something to do. But with practice (doing it every day for some length of time) it gets easier to watch without getting upset. and the times you feel yourself breathing and "thinking" get longer and longer. on that note...I'd better go sit while my house is semi-quiet xoxo