Cows Taste Better

Sam goes to the grocery store. He brings back, among other things, a can of sardines, a can of tiny shrimp, and packs of tuna. This is probably in part due to the fact that I do not buy canned meat of any sort, so our diet is lacking in what is apparently haute cuisine.

The kids are trying the sardines. I'm proud and disgusted at the same time. Ethan is excited and pleased by the little fish. Connor enjoys them, too. Emily is not impressed, but eats her sardine without complaint. Connor and Ethan ask for more. And more. They move on to eating them on crackers.

Ethan holds one of the sardines between his fingers. He's actually holding half a sardine. He flicks the tail with his finger. “Look! A fin!” “That's right. That's its tail,” Sam tells him. “And you can eat it!” Ethan responds, before sucking it into his mouth.

Emily decides it's time to convince everyone that the sardines are bad. “But you're killing them!” “They're already dead,” Sam tells her. “Yeah, but don't you feel bad about killing them?” “You eat steak!” I respond to Emily. “Isn't it better to kill fish than a cow?” Sam asks her. “Uh uh,” she replies. “Cows taste better.”

Sam pulls out a pack of tuna. Ethan is excited, but the other two have never been fans of canned tuna. When Sam first mentions the tuna, Connor asks if it is fresh, and Sam says no. Connor and Emily at first refuse to try it. Sam, of course, says they must try. They do, and they are all pleased- so much so that they finish the rest of the pack on crackers as well.

They move onto the dip made from cream cheese, tiny shrimp, and cocktail sauce. Ethan is not happy with the cocktail sauce, but the other two enjoy it. They've never liked it before.

The session ends when all the pre-packed, pre-cooked seafood has been slapped on a cracker and devoured. I learn my lesson. Screw cooking.