Wednesday, December 16, 2009

Sam says it doesn't count anyway because Washington DC isn't even a state.

So, today, my friend told me it was time for me to write a new post because my lame ass can't seem to post on a regular basis because of the news that Washington DC is legalizing gay marriage.

Which kinda pissed me off. Not at her- she makes a valid point. It's just a damn shame that we have to applaud SIMPLY DOING THE RIGHT THING.

God damn, people.

Fine. Bravo, DC! You did the right thing.

But here's the thing. When you are potty-training your kid, every time they use the toilet properly, you applaud and dance and give out M&M's (holy hell, I just gave a parenting tip). This doesn't last forever, obviously. There is no jar of M&M's in our bathroom- thank gods we are past that. I mean, do you applaud your spouse or boyfriend or girlfriend when they don't wet their pants? (If you do, there is the possibility that you need to take a step back from the situation and take another look.) No. And the reason for that is? That is just the way it should be. One more time. That is just the way it should be.

I think the problem is perspective. Equal rights for all seems like a damn near unachievable goal- some gold standard. So sad. In fact, we should be viewing equal rights as mediocrity.

So, hurrah, DC. You have reached the level of mediocrity. You are no longer wearing diapers. You get to go pick out some underoos with Iowa, Connecticut, Vermont and Massachusetts. Oh, and New Hampshire, once they get their collective ass in gear.

That is, assuming the US Congress doesn't fuck it all up. Which they will.

To the rest of the states in our fair marriage union: Get the fuck out of the pampers. Mediocrity. Can you see it? There, way up high over your head?

2 comments:

Call Me Cate said...

Yes, how sad when mediocrity is a goal. I wish more places could be mediocre like DC.

AinsleyB said...

does mediocre rhyme with okra? maybe with my accent it does...just trying to get a jingle together for South Carolina.