We interrupt this blog for a bit of fiction from Connor (a finish-the-story assignment):

Suddenly, he tripped and the men were on top of him, hitting him repeatedly. When he was bruised and bloodied, they dragged him back to the cottage. They tied him to a stake in the front yard by his hands and feet so tight he could not move an inch.
The old woman came out and cackled madly. "In the morning, boy, in the morning," spittle going down her chin and her eyes wide and quite mad. The boy stared at her for a moment, fear in his eyes, before he drifted into unconsciousness.
When he woke up, he was being dragged away by the men. By now he was barely conscious and when they dropped him, he could barely move at all, let alone get away. They looked at him for a moment, then, grinning evilly, they said, "Good bye, boy." They pushed him down, and soon he was suffocating on dirt.
He struggled for a second, then he lived no more.

Sam's not going to be happy I didn't bother capitalizing anything.

Sometime, years ago, I exploded Connor's head. Connor was just shy of ten, Ethan five and a half. Because I'm lazy it flows better, I'll fill you in with an excerpt from a chat between my friend Cassie and myself.

me: on the walk back to the house, he's telling me about this thing
they had to read a paragraph, or several
about jim henson
and then answer questions based on the reading
and he said there were "additional questions. like who is kermit?"
Mom: "a frog"
Connor:"who is miss piggy?"
M:"a pig"
C:"who are bert and ernie?"
FlutterBy: umm
me: "a couple who live on sesame street"
FlutterBy: i would not have had an age-appropriate response
me: beat
beat
C:"nu uh!"
FlutterBy: what was his answer?
cuz, totally
me: to that question? i don't know
but he didn't like MY answer
FlutterBy: i think i would've maybe said "roommates"
dunno if that's any better
me: and i said "why nu uh?"
C:"because you make it sound like they're..."
M:"what?"
C:"they are not!"
M:"why not?"
C:"they're brothers!"
FlutterBy: you just shattered his childhood beliefs
brothers?
i never got brothers
me: M:"how do you know? i never heard that"
FlutterBy: even as a kid, i never got brothers
me: C:"well, how do you know THAT?"
M:"i don't. i just assume. they live together. they're adults"
Ethan: "what's a couple?"
FlutterBy: and those sweaters!!!
me: M: "two people who are a family"
Ethan: "well, grover has a mom"
M:"uh, no. like boyfriend and girlfriend kind of family"
Ethan:"oh. not like grover and his mom"

My only regret is that I potentially unintentionally outed two... men?... because that is so not what I'm about. I hadn't realized I was passing along other people's secrets.

It's Called a Play on Words

From Connor in the back seat of the car, reading a sign on a store: Make your own sundae... If I could make my own Sunday, it'd be longer than any other day of the week.

From Connor when we get home: Help! I can't get out! *banging on inside of his own door* It won't open! Getting out after I have ignored him and gotten out myself, he finishes: You'd be a lot more fun if you were gullible.

My kid can kick your kid's ass.

Television news anchor quoting someone online: always remember that no matter what obstacles stand in our way, nothing can stand in the way of the power of millions of voices...

Connor: Except the electoral college.