Lego Should be Capitalized. It's a Registered Trademark.

Ethan played his cute card. He went all Bambie-eyes on Sam, and convinced him to build a lego star wars ship for him. Unfortunately, this is never an easy prospect in this house- other than that first time it comes out of the box. And that, of course, is assuming the box hasn't been open for more than five minutes.

So I got roped into digging through containers and containers (and containers) of legos. We need a piece that looks like this, but it has to be gray. No, light gray. No, not that light gray, this light gray.

Two hours later, I buried my head in the container on my lap. Sam patted me on the back. “I have hate,” I muttered. “That seems like a bad thing to have,” he said back. “You made this hate!” I pretended to be working under the impression that he would not be able to hear me unless I yelled. “I don't think that's possible,” he said absently. I pulled my head out of the box, lego stuck to my forehead, and glared at him. “Or, maybe it is,” he responded to my look.

I looked around at the tens of thousands of bricks that surrounded us. “I can go now?” I asked. “Well, no, we're not done. I still need your help.” I put my glare back on. “I can go now?” After a short pause as he analyzed my mood- “Yes, ma'am.”

Aftr that I went in sid. but ladron I sall a deeyr but i didint no that I was goonu see deeyr.

Kids, at least in our area, are encouraged to write organically. That is to say without pesticides. Or maybe it means that they write out words as they think they should be spelled, concentrating on getting their ideas on paper rather than worrying about spelling and sentence structure. (Those requirements happen, just at a time when it won't squash the creativity.) It certainly leads to interesting reading, and, if nothing else, trains you to read lolcats.

An excerpt from Emily's past writing:

Rabits look for food wen its trneyn n to wintr. rabts breng thet food in to ther borows. You fiynd them sumtiyms. Rabits are sumtiyms hormlis krechrs but rabits arret owes hormlis krechrs. Rabits are fiyn if you be kerfol. Duks. Duks fliy sawth for the wintr thay riley dount like the cold thay hayt the cold it is bad for them.

A question then presents itself. Exactly what must one avoid doing to keep those damn rabbits from going on a rampage?

And I Just Can't Live Without You

Emily and I were in the kitchen the other day. As sometimes happens when a song is running repeatedly through my head, out of nowhere I sang "Baby come back!" Emily immediately responded with, "You can blame it all on me!"

I was, as any mother should be, immediately delighted that my daughter would know even a single line from what to her would be an obscure song. That was until today, when I was watching television. Seen the latest advertising campaign from Swiffer?

Cows Taste Better

Sam goes to the grocery store. He brings back, among other things, a can of sardines, a can of tiny shrimp, and packs of tuna. This is probably in part due to the fact that I do not buy canned meat of any sort, so our diet is lacking in what is apparently haute cuisine.

The kids are trying the sardines. I'm proud and disgusted at the same time. Ethan is excited and pleased by the little fish. Connor enjoys them, too. Emily is not impressed, but eats her sardine without complaint. Connor and Ethan ask for more. And more. They move on to eating them on crackers.

Ethan holds one of the sardines between his fingers. He's actually holding half a sardine. He flicks the tail with his finger. “Look! A fin!” “That's right. That's its tail,” Sam tells him. “And you can eat it!” Ethan responds, before sucking it into his mouth.

Emily decides it's time to convince everyone that the sardines are bad. “But you're killing them!” “They're already dead,” Sam tells her. “Yeah, but don't you feel bad about killing them?” “You eat steak!” I respond to Emily. “Isn't it better to kill fish than a cow?” Sam asks her. “Uh uh,” she replies. “Cows taste better.”

Sam pulls out a pack of tuna. Ethan is excited, but the other two have never been fans of canned tuna. When Sam first mentions the tuna, Connor asks if it is fresh, and Sam says no. Connor and Emily at first refuse to try it. Sam, of course, says they must try. They do, and they are all pleased- so much so that they finish the rest of the pack on crackers as well.

They move onto the dip made from cream cheese, tiny shrimp, and cocktail sauce. Ethan is not happy with the cocktail sauce, but the other two enjoy it. They've never liked it before.

The session ends when all the pre-packed, pre-cooked seafood has been slapped on a cracker and devoured. I learn my lesson. Screw cooking.