Thursday, September 10, 2009

Update (for Andy*) I have a lot of sympathy for the crazies. And I say "crazies" in only the most respectful way. The psychos kinda scare me, though.

So, hi. I'm Sarah. I haven't been around in a while, I know. Eeeehhhneeewaayyyy... I had a couple of interesting conversations at work. This is pretty much all you're getting out of me.

Customer: Hello.
Me: Hi. Can I help you with anything?
C: No. How are you?
Me: I'm fine, thanks for asking. How are you?
C: I'm fine.
Me: That's great.
C: Did you go to college?
Me: I did indeed.
C: Oh. I did, too. I graduated from Yale in 1963.
Me: Wow. That's very impressive.
C: Thank you.

And he walked away. That's it. In its entirety. That was last night. The night before? This:

Me: How can I help you?
Different Customer: *blah blah pertinent to my job questions followed by:* You look very intelligent. Did you go to college?
Me: I sure did. (What? They both asked if I went to college, not graduated.)
DC: You look like you did. I bet it was an ivy league school.
Me: Nope, not a chance.
DC: Oh, but I bet you could have. So gorgeous and you don't look a day over nineteen. (Because if you didn't know he was crazy before this, you do now.)
Me: Thank you?
DC: Okay, thanks for your help.
Me: Have a good evening.
DC:Do you go to church?
Me: I do not.
DC: Do you believe in God?
Me: Yep.
DC: Do you read the bible?
Me: I have. (No, really. I have.)
DC: Do you believe in Jesus?
Me: Sure, there's a lot of evidence to support his having existed. (Honestly, it didn't really matter what I said; he was only listening to him anyway.)
DC: Do you believe in our Lord Jesus Christ who died for your sins so that you might live in heaven?
Me: Yes, absolutely.
DC: Do you repent for your sins and ask for forgiveness in confession?
Me: Okay, then. You have a good evening.

Update: *Because that crazy beyotch went and shut down her comments and I'm far too lazy to go emailing people... Andy! I'm totally with you. I've been talking to a friend online for well over two years (friggin' 696 conversations in gmail alone), and I'd probably crawl into a corner and rock back and forth and mutter to myself if she ever visited my area. Take comfort, Andy, in that I am (potentially) as effed up as you. Oh, and you're not one of the crazies. It's just coincidence that this is the "crazy" post. Really. No, really.


Mo Diva said...

the bible thumpers must be in their recruitment stage. There are tons on the trains every morning since school started... I guess they think if they convert the turds that pull the emergency brake during rush hour, people will eventually get to work on time... or they just have a quota to fill on the number evengelical train rides per month...

Call Me Cate said...

At least they're both concerned with education? I don't know, they both seem like weirdos. I hope your employer has cameras and security.

InMyOwnZoo said...

Oh my dear.You are perfectly charming. Why worry about in person meetings/ Just do them at say a bookstore...crazies don't generally go to bookstores...

Princess Andy said...

you are so freakin' awesome, and i would totally love to see you in action with the customers.

i bet you don't miss a beat with the comebacks.

i do pretty good with encounters when i don't give a shit about the individual...all the other ones i'm guaranteed to put my foot in my mouth at least once.


p.s. regarding the whole "no comment" thing? it's like a weight off my shoulders for now, allowing me some time to regroup without guilt and obligation. yay me:) more time for housework.

Sarah said...

So I was going to reply to you, Andy, using someone else's twitter account. Apparently limiting myself to 140 characters leaves me dumbfounded. Screw that.
I so understand the dumping of an "obligation" to relieve stress. Hell, I only get a couple comments and I rarely reply to them (although I truly read them, y'all). Good on you. Except now you have to come search for my yellings at you. Which should completely relax you. Maybe I'll slip a comment all secret-like into a posty here and there. Good luck with that.