So, hi. I'm Sarah. I haven't been around in a while, I know. Eeeehhhneeewaayyyy... I had a couple of interesting conversations at work. This is pretty much all you're getting out of me.
Customer: Hello.
Me: Hi. Can I help you with anything?
C: No. How are you?
Me: I'm fine, thanks for asking. How are you?
C: I'm fine.
Me: That's great.
C: Did you go to college?
Me: I did indeed.
C: Oh. I did, too. I graduated from Yale in 1963.
Me: Wow. That's very impressive.
C: Thank you.
And he walked away. That's it. In its entirety. That was last night. The night before? This:
Me: How can I help you?
Different Customer: *blah blah pertinent to my job questions followed by:* You look very intelligent. Did you go to college?
Me: I sure did. (What? They both asked if I went to college, not graduated.)
DC: You look like you did. I bet it was an ivy league school.
Me: Nope, not a chance.
DC: Oh, but I bet you could have. So gorgeous and you don't look a day over nineteen. (Because if you didn't know he was crazy before this, you do now.)
Me: Thank you?
DC: Okay, thanks for your help.
Me: Have a good evening.
DC:Do you go to church?
Me: I do not.
DC: Do you believe in God?
Me: Yep.
DC: Do you read the bible?
Me: I have. (No, really. I have.)
DC: Do you believe in Jesus?
Me: Sure, there's a lot of evidence to support his having existed. (Honestly, it didn't really matter what I said; he was only listening to him anyway.)
DC: Do you believe in our Lord Jesus Christ who died for your sins so that you might live in heaven?
Me: Yes, absolutely.
DC: Do you repent for your sins and ask for forgiveness in confession?
Me: Okay, then. You have a good evening.
Update: *Because that crazy beyotch went and shut down her comments and I'm far too lazy to go emailing people... Andy! I'm totally with you. I've been talking to a friend online for well over two years (friggin' 696 conversations in gmail alone), and I'd probably crawl into a corner and rock back and forth and mutter to myself if she ever visited my area. Take comfort, Andy, in that I am (potentially) as effed up as you. Oh, and you're not one of the crazies. It's just coincidence that this is the "crazy" post. Really. No, really.
5 comments:
the bible thumpers must be in their recruitment stage. There are tons on the trains every morning since school started... I guess they think if they convert the turds that pull the emergency brake during rush hour, people will eventually get to work on time... or they just have a quota to fill on the number evengelical train rides per month...
At least they're both concerned with education? I don't know, they both seem like weirdos. I hope your employer has cameras and security.
Oh my dear.You are perfectly charming. Why worry about in person meetings/ Just do them at say a bookstore...crazies don't generally go to bookstores...
you are so freakin' awesome, and i would totally love to see you in action with the customers.
i bet you don't miss a beat with the comebacks.
i do pretty good with encounters when i don't give a shit about the individual...all the other ones i'm guaranteed to put my foot in my mouth at least once.
andy
p.s. regarding the whole "no comment" thing? it's like a weight off my shoulders for now, allowing me some time to regroup without guilt and obligation. yay me:) more time for housework.
So I was going to reply to you, Andy, using someone else's twitter account. Apparently limiting myself to 140 characters leaves me dumbfounded. Screw that.
I so understand the dumping of an "obligation" to relieve stress. Hell, I only get a couple comments and I rarely reply to them (although I truly read them, y'all). Good on you. Except now you have to come search for my yellings at you. Which should completely relax you. Maybe I'll slip a comment all secret-like into a posty here and there. Good luck with that.
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