Wednesday, June 23, 2010

I Have a Confession

Please don't think less of me.



Okay, like a band-aid. (No, not braille-y. Rip-quick-for-less-pain.)

I am and/or was a fan of the Twilight series of books.

Deep inhale. Deep exhale. A weight has been lifted.

So the am/was of it all is due to the fact that I finished reading the main series within days of release of the last book and have not really looked back. When I was reading them, I really liked them. I read every spare minute of the day. The children scavenged the remains of the pantry. Sam talked divorce. And then I was done, and I haven't picked any of the series back up since I finished the fourth book.

And then my sister Lindsey and I made a mad dash for the first movie when it was released, and... eh.

In fairness, I'm pretty much guaranteed to not enjoy a movie made from a book that I loved. And I really did not enjoy it. Whatever, I've never seen the second movie, and have no plan to see the other two-still-to-come. And, please, don't try to convince me that the book series sucks or that the movies are the best things ever shown in a movie theater. I really don't care.

This all comes about because I was listening to NPR this morning (criminy, let's see if I can fit one more link in this post), and this particular "news item" (really?) was about those nutters who are camping outside the red carpet for the premiere of the latest movie- no, not to see it, because they are in no way getting in. They are camping in order to get a look at/picture of the stars of said movie.

Need I repeat that?

Here's another kicker. They've already been given their wristbands that guarantee their "entrance" (though not necessarily position, I suppose), so they are free to leave. They're not budging.

I know.

This post has gotten long. If you're still reading, thanks. Let's get to it.

So this, I dunno, reporter? broadcaster? Wtf-ever he was, he profiled two groups of campers. The first group was so-and-so and her eight friends, "and I use the term 'friends' loosely." Oh yeah? Did they meet on-site? That's why "friends" may not really apply? No, they met online. Hey, f**ker! Therefore they could not be friends? Just "friends"? Rather judgey of him. I admit, I don't talk to many people online. Pretty much just Cassie (bam!) most of the time, but what the hell? In an age where so many people meet or chat or comment or blog or share or create/join a community online, I think a statement like that is a quick way to get a lot of hate-email.

Let's move on to group two. They called themselves, I think, Twi-Moms? Something where they combined "Twilight" and "Mom". Ladies? Stop doing this shit. It is creepy and disgusting. If you want to lust after these boys, fine... maybe? Honestly, it's still a little eww. Reading the books, it's easy to find a piece of yourself in the main character, easy to remember being that teenage girl. But watching the movie, putting these boy faces onto the love interests (oh, lord, spoiler there, I suppose- but if you haven't read them yet, odds are you probably aren't going to) just ups the nasty factor. (Maybe this is why I didn't like the movie? No, it still just sucked.) So, A! Lusting after boys- boys with boy faces, you can't imagine you are their age. You can NOT. And then B. You go and add "mom" into it? You go and make it sound incestuous? No, do not argue. That is what you crazy bitches did. You took "yucky" and turned it into "criminal".

As Cassie just said to me, "As much as the term 'cougar' annoys me, at least it doesn't denote 'motherhood'." And what's more, because I share the label "mother" with you, you are dragging me with you into your world of skin-crawly-molesty-foul. Please. Just. Stop.


Call Me Cate said...

In Stephen King's book "On Writing", he makes a strong point about descriptions, namely that "lady in the green dress" is good because it gives the idea you're after but leaves it generally up to the imagination of the reader. Maybe that's why you don't like movies made from books. I know they never match the vision I had during the reading (c'mon, Tom Hanks in The DaVinci Code?) and that's part of why I end up disappointed.

As for the Twi-Moms? Just ew. Ew ew ew.

McGriddle Pants said...

I will NEVER NEVER EVER watch a movie where I've read the book first (anymore)
Ever since Hannibal, Red Dragon, DaVinci Code... NO NO NO!! (Yeah, I'm talking to you Julia Roberts in Eat, Pray, Love)

I will however, if I like the movie, read the book. Then I'm usually BLOWN AWAY by the book and still kind of like the movie. Although it is sometimes hard to get past the movie's characters when reading the book. But I'm still less disappointed.