Sunday, April 26, 2009

Hey! (Again)

Washington! Nevada! Utah! Montana! Wyoming! New Mexico! North Dakota! South Dakota! Oklahoma! Iowa! Arkansas! Louisiana! Mississippi! New Hampshire! Maine!

It's like you want me to fail. Stand up and be counted, people! (i.e., Visit my blog. You'll only be smarter after enjoying my brain explosions, I assure you.) Let me think of a good reason And I have a good reason for each of you...

Washington, Seattle's a trendsetter, and here you are, missing this opportunity.

Nevada! I've seen CSI! I know everyone is busy murdering or being murdered, but consider this an escape from your sad reality into my sad reality.

My husband has family in Utah. So we're related! Ish.

Montana, you should visit my blog because I feel really sorry for you on account of that Hannah chick stealing your name.

Hey, Wyoming, on your website (did you know you had one?) it says, "Get a feel for Wyoming." They're serious about this, people. It's in italics. Let me stand up and say, I think it's only fair that, if you get a feel, you should give a feel. Share and share alike, folks.

New Mexico, you kick Old Mexico's ass. Truly.

North Dakota, you rock because you are so above South Dakota.

South Dakota, you rock because you don't have to be near Canada the way North Dakota does.

OOOOOOOO-klahoma where the wind comes sweepin' down the plain! Okay, I'm sure that's what everyone says, but I mean it!

Iowa totally kicked my state's ass in the race to legalize gay marriage. Seriously, who saw that coming?

My grandparents were from Arkansas. So we're related! Ish.

Louisiana, like Italy, you are shaped like a boot (and not like a floppy winter sock- I swear I never said that). That is culture.

Oh, em-eye-crooked-letter-crooked-letter-eye-crooked-letter-crooked-letter-eye-hump-back-hump-back-eye. Need I say more?

Isn't it enough, New Hampshire, that I noticed you on the map?

My sister has family in Maine! So we're related! Ish!