I'm currently in the midst of making cookies for my kids to give out as valentines. I am an awesome stay-at-home-mom. Except for the bit where I don't stay at home when they don't. And I'm sure there are full-time working moms who make cookies for their kids to give out as valentines, too. Get your own blog. Here, I am the only mom on the planet who makes cookies at all, much less for the ankles biters to give to other ankle biters.
But I had a point besides that I am the best mom to ever walk God's Green Earth. For these cookies, I put a little "window" of hard candy in the center. I decided this year I'd make my own hard candy. How hard could it be? Melting sugar is super simple. Right? Right!? This, in case you have no fore-vision whatsoever, is where it all goes wonky. Because I was so busy ooohing over having a visitor to my blog from Sweden (Hi!), the candy burnt all to hell. (That's right, folks, I know where you live. Except you, Andy, I know where you live and work. I'm totally better than you at this stalking crap.)
Where was I? Oh, yes, I am a super awesome mom. Also, I absolutely judge you all based on where you live. Not really. (Yes.) Because I don't judge. Except that I do, but I try not to. In my heart, I know it's wrong to judge anyone. In my heart, I definitely judge people. Especially rude customers. Please don't think for one minute that I spit in your food. Because I don't serve food. On the other hand, I do sell your personal information.
But, really, if you ever met me, you wouldn't think I was a judgy person because I do it all in my head. Because being critical of others (out loud) is a sin. Now that I think of it, though, they said in church school that even if you only think a sin, you are really committing the sin. That doesn't seem right because I can't stop myself from thinking things, but I don't want to go to hell, so I'm only going to judge bad people. Like racists. (I'm looking at you, FlutterBy.)
Dammit, I just burned the second batch.