Wednesday, August 19, 2009

Hey, yankees? Y'all have annoying accents, too.

I spent a good chunk of my childhood in the south. As a navy brat, moving around a lot has given me an odd accent. Now, by "odd", I don't mean you hear me and think "this bitch is nuts!"... okay, you might think that, but not because of my accent. It's simply of indeterminate origins. That being said, my father retired and we moved up north and I was teased from moment one for my southern accent. So I fixed it. I scraped every bit of south out of my voice- all except "y'all". There is no good northern substitution.

The second exception to my "no twang" rule is when I get really angry. When I have lost all semblance of a temper- really, really pissed, which seems to happen less and less as I mellow with age (yes, this is me mellow)- Ah will poke mah fingah in youah chest as I screahm in youah face. (And, honestly, my accent is not nearly as genteel as I just represented.) This results in Sam grasping his sides and rolling on the floor with laughter. This leads to him grasping his sides and rolling on the floor with pain from my kicks to his ribs.

Exception number three! When I listen to a southerner, whoops! The accent pops right back out if I'm not paying enough attention. It's not heavy, but it is sometimes noticeable. This is seen as patronizing, unfortunately, when I am speaking to someone who doesn't know me. (There is the occasional customer who maybe gets a little insulted.) Two of my sisters have maintained a slight drawl, and when I talk to either of them, Sam instantly knows. "You just get off the phone with Christine? Your southern is showing."

This all leads to the reason Connor is now grounded for the rest of his existence. I was watching Ruby today. "Come on, Connor!" I whined. "If we just pick things up instead of leaving them lying around, this clean house would be easy to maintain!" Maintain, however, came out mahyntahyn. Little brat jumped on that quick.

"Mahhyyntahhyyn? Mahhhyyyntahhhhyyyn? Right, Mom, let's mahhhhyyyyntahhhhyyyyn the house."

"Run. Before I kill you. Quick like a bunny! Go hide!"


InMyOwnZoo said...

Mine comes out when I am drinking. The BEST is when I use southern and Canadian in the same sentence.C really enjoys that.

As for your 2 sisters who have retained theirs- well they LIVE THERE!!!!!

AinsleyB said...

Geez, I can remember making fun of Dad when he got off the phone with Grannie, his drawl got so thick. What's so funny is how many times I'm asked "you're accent's not southern. Where you from?"

Our accent is "Mutt-ern."

Princess Andy said...

my children like to mock me also when my british accent rears its head.

it does so when i'm cranking at them...kind of dulls the moment and deflects the fear i try to instill.

little bastards.


Strange Mamma said...

I totally had a long comment about picking up accents here while shopping and in Texas at BBQ's and apparently not having a Canadian enough accent even though I am one, to get a voice over job (I ended up sounding like Sarah Palin). It really was too long, so I guess it's a good thing that the Blogger gods decided to error the crap out of it.


Call Me Cate said...

Living in the Southish, everyone tells me I sound like a Yankee. When I go north, everyone tells me I sound like a Southerner. Apparently I fit in absolutely nowhere.

I have noticed that with a few drinks I pick up even more of a drawl. Joe says that's just slurring my words but I don't think so.